I Swear I Don't Smoke Crack

Last night was Monday Night Craft night. After a filling meal, my friend Geek (Rose's husband) went on the computer and showed the kids some funny cat videos. Then he found the latest trailer for the new Star Trek movie. That got the conversation geared towards more upcoming movies, and I started thinking about the movies that I would love to see. Shortly after, I continued my knitting as they turned on "The Last Samurai" - the Tom Cruise movie.

I don't share dreams that have significant meaning to me or that I feel compelled to search out their meaning in my life. However, last night was a completely different story.

This is my dream. ***Disclaimer: I don't know any of these people in real life.

I am on a vacation with Spiderman/Peter Parker. We travel to China with some friends. All of a sudden a volcano erupts, and of course Spidey has to save everyone. At one point, he has me in one arm as he web slings me through a cave and into the center of the earth. Through one of the caverns we see Godzilla and King Kong battling. He figures that the Kong has Godzilla where he needs him, so he doesn't enter that fight.

When we emerge from the bowels of earth, we emerge into another part of the world, or another part of China (I'm not sure) where things seem to be much quieter. So we hang out with our friends. But then some samurais burst onto the scene and everyone screams in terror. So once again, Spidey springs into action.

I just hang out with my pal Mary Jane Watson. She's not into guys - if you catch my drift - so I don't have to worry about her putting any moves onto Peter. Anyway, once Spiderman gets rid of the samurais, we head to a museum. This place is the size of a small city and houses not only art but also animals.

To our amazement, the Transformers arrive. The Decepticons have managed to find a way of not only transforming into machines, but also into animals. So we don't know which animals are animals and which ones are Decepticons. At this point, Peter isn't Spiderman for some reason. He's just Peter leading me and MJ through the Museum looking for none other than Optimus Prime and his crew.

Peter finally finds our man OP, who has managed to transform himself into an 84 year-old man who shuffles through the museum and looks more like a butler than our salvation. But in his "man" image, he is a biologist who has developed a way to determine the real animals - which have all been diseased by the Decepticons and act crazy - from the fakes.

But before he can help us out, Megatron (who somehow has come back from the dead - see the Transformers movie if you need an update) attacks. MJ and I are separated from Peter and OP. We run through equipment rooms with machines coming alive in front of us. All of a sudden Jazz shows up and starts "enlivening" machines for the good guys. He gives the two of us a ride while I call Peter on his cell trying to find him.

While driving around with Decepticons on our tail, we realize that for some reason the Decepticons cannot backtrack on the same path. Meaning, if they went one way down the street, they could go in the opposite direction but couldn't go the same way on that same stretch of the street. So, we start going down streets that end in cul-de-sacs. We dispatch the info to our friends. With Decepticons all over the place, stuck like statues where their streets turned into circles, the military comes through and bombs them all. When Peter takes me into his arms, I wake up with "What the F@#%" coming out of my mouth.

At work today I told my co-workers who was involved in my dream. In unison, they asked me what I smoked last night.