Fresh Breeze Blowing In

This summer was very busy for me, which is a bit unusual. For awhile, a free weekend was a rare commodity.

Sagittarius and I were able to go on two camping trips this summer, the most recent being Labor Day weekend. We made another trek into the Adirondacks for three days and three nights of Tent-Life Fun. The weather was absolutely beautiful, which was a bit of a surprise since there was a lot of rain that week. We spiced it up the trip with a hiking tour of Ausable Chasm, which is at the most northern part of the Adirondacks state park.

In front of Rainbow Falls at the beginning of Ausable Chasm

I'd love to see Rainbow Falls in early spring when the snow from the mountains would be melting.

They call this Elephant Head. Can you see the trunk and eye?

The hike was great. Unfortunately, the night before I had tripped while setting up the tent. I banged up my knee and arm pretty good, so I had to take frequent breaks along the way. One thing that kept popping into my head, as Sagittarius and I would sit and take in all of the natural beauty before us, was how much Jake would have appreciated an excursion like this. He and I used to hike a local trail and visit parks a couple times a year. Even though I was having a fantastic time with Sagittarius and was glad we were there together, the smile on my face hid a slight tinge of sadness and remembrance. But that all went away as soon as I saw this sign. Suddenly I felt that somehow, even though I now walk a different path he's still there enjoying the journey with me.



The weekend also came complete with critters of all types. At Ausable Chasm I almost stepped on this snake. I think he was more freaked out that I was because he took off quickly. Then that evening, we heard kids talking about hawks, eagles and vultures; and we looked up to see a group of birds circling overhead. Then, that night, something scratched on the tent. When Sagittarius hit the tent and looked through the opening, he saw a skunk scurrying away. Although I can't smell (yes, my sense of smell is non-existent), I have heard how horribly difficult it is to get the stench of skunk spray off. So I was quite happy at the thought that he was too scared or too busy to take the time to leave his scent behind.

While I did a lot of knitting, Sagittarius took the opportunity to get caught up on the classics.

I have been knitting like crazy all summer. After crocheting all the baby blankets I was working on for friends and co-workers, I decided to get a start on Christmas presents. I am making blankets for everyone and figured I should get am early start since I am going to knit them all. I started on my dad's blanket in July. Since my gauge is still tighter than most patterns, it was too small and I had to break it into two panels. However, it's the heaviest of all that I plan to do (my dad is always cold) and August brought the heat wave, so I finished the first panel then set it aside until cooler weather. I then picked up work on Sagittarius' Mom's blanket. I haven't finished it yet, but I fell so much in love with it, that I ran off and bought the yarn to do the same pattern for my mom's blanket and started work on that.

Amongst all this, Sagittarius and I have decided to live together. I have begun moving things around, sorting through what should go and what should stay, in anticipation of the day when all his things and my things will make their home together and become our things. I'm making plans for a garage sale and pricing items. All along, there is still the hurdle that I have yet to jump - getting rid of most of Jake's things. Throughout the two years since he died, I slowly took steps toward this. First step - I took his clothes out of the bedroom closet and put them in the guest room. Step two - I moved the furniture around to how I would like, trying not to think too much of how he would have liked it. Step three - I emptied out the dresser drawers and his nightstand and put the contents in storage containers. Step four - I moved some of his items into the attic. Step five - I packed up most of the wedding stuff. These were spread out over several months, and it wasn't like I planned it out with a playbook. I let it happen when I felt I was ready to.

I know, and even say, that I need to give his clothes away to Goodwill. I know I need to remove items of his I will never use. Yet, even though I know what I must do, I still haven't done it. Why? I think I am still holding on, even if it's just with my fingertips, to something that once was and will never be again. It's not like I have kept everything as he left it. I wouldn't want Sagittarius to be uncomfortable, with "another man's things lying around", so I did pack most things away before the first time he even came over to my house. However, I need to come to grips with the idea that although I may give away his things, I'm not giving him away. I love the life that I am venturing on and truly believe that Jake's happy for me and might have even given me a nudge this way.

This autumn brings with it the promise of learning. Besides knitting and crocheting, which I began one year ago this month, I do not consider myself very domestic. To help me out, the ladies at Monday Night Craft Night have started finding me easy recipes to help me cook when it's my turn for dinner. So far, Chicken Cordon Bleu and Cheeseburger Roll-ups have been hits. My greatest triumph will be when I can manage to make my favorite dish - lasagna. You might think it easy, but if anything requires more than three or four steps, I break out into a sweat.

Just as my sorrow has given way to great happiness and love, so does Summer give way to Autumn - perhaps my favorite time of year. I love driving the road when the leaves on the trees are changing. I enjoy pulling on a flannel shirt or fleece jacket when a cool wind passes across my shoulders and weaves through my hair. I think the best part of my day is holding a warm mug of apple cider in my chilly, early morning fingers before taking in a sip to thaw my bones. This year, besides my parents and some good friends, I get to spend it with a good man. I get to come home to loving arms. I have someone to curl up in a blanket with on the couch, catching a football game as we dine on his great chili. I'll have someone to talk with, as the wind howls through the creases of the house. I'll have a companion to help build a snowman when the first snowflakes drift to the ground.

I am looking forward to what will be.