Ready For The Ween

Tomorrow the ghouls, witches, superheroes, princesses, and freaks will be stopping by to get candy. I have been waiting for weeks.

Over the past few years, Halloween had become a favorite holiday for Jake and I. We loved seeing all the little kids dressed in their costumes. We talked about what it would be like when we had our own. When we moved into our current home, it was quickly apparent that we would have tons of trick-or-treaters when we realized the fire department had a Halloween stop right across the street from our house.

Last year was the first Halloween without Jake. I raced home from work and put on his hockey jersey. I had my decorations up and turned on the Jack-o-lantern lights and began passing out the candy with a smile on my face. I can't count how many kids made their way to my door. I sampled the candy while I waited for the foot steps on my stairs. I was doing well until a man who looked like Jake carried his 1 year-old little girl (who was dressed as a flower) to my door. I kept it together while they were there, but had to close shop right after.

This year I went out and bought more decorations. And although I still miss him terribly, I know he would be proud of how far I've come. I've already prepped the candy bowl and have my replenishing bags ready to go. I'll have my knitting on the porch to give me something to do in between batches of kids. So I'll race home from work tomorrow and put on Jake's jersey so he can pass out candy with me.

Unravel

My first foray into the kniting world is a red scarf. I figured a simple scarf would be perfect for learning and for getting the basics down. I knew I would make mistakes and would just have to deal with them. And thanks to Monday Night Craft Night with my friends, I became more than eager to make those mistakes.

Unfortunatley, I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist at times. When I made a mistake I went running to my friend like a little girl looking to her mommy to fix it. Luckily, most were easily fixed.

Then I decided to do some work on it alone at home. I did quite well for a while until I found a couple mistakes I made a few rows down. I tried to fix them as best I could, from the point at which I was. But, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't make it right.

So I began to unravel the thread. Row by row, I undid all those knits that I made; some perfect, some not so great; until I was back to where it all went wrong. With a couple of twists of the needles, what was wrong became right and I continued on paying even more attention to the rest of my work.

Sometimes I wish life could be like that - you get an opportunity to go back to that one point that just went wrong and make it right. Instead, we try to fix it from the current point, but we can't. We either live with the mistake, that bad thing that happened, or we try our hardest to cover it up but it's still there waiting for something to snag it and cause it to unravel.

Happy Birthday Jake

Today was Jake's birthday. He would have been 33 years old.

I brought Arlo to the cemetery so he could leave his daddy a gift. He initiated the plot last year on Jake's birthday. It's something Jake would have gotten a kick out of. He had that type of personality.

Autumn reminds me of him. It has a little to do with our anniversary being followed four days later by his birthday, then Hockey season starting. But then it's just the pure presence of Autumn with its changing colors. Jake loved just being in nature and the leaves changing color has always seemed to be the quintessential representation of nature. Jake was at a changing point in his life when he died, and although it happened in the summer, that changing in him will therefore always leave him eternally in autumn in my mind.

I left weekly craft night early so I could cheer on his favorite hockey team - the Chicago Blackhawks. I would love to say they won just like they did last year, but unfortunately I would be lying. They managed to survive through overtime, but lost it in a shoot out. I like watching the shoot out, but don't think it should be the way a "winner" is determined.

Arlo visiting Daddy.

Maize Maze

Fall is here. The leaves are changing colors while the cool air is creeping in. One way to welcome the autumn season is to visit a farm and enjoy a corn maze. With Halloween coming, it's even better if the corn maze is haunted.

Last night, some friends from work and I visited a local farm known for its corn maze. During each weekend in October, the ghouls and freaks haunt it after dark.

Unfortunately, the majority of of the local high schools must have been running a special on discount tickets to this place. Everywhere you looked, you saw teenagers locked in embraces of young love and groups of girls singing "boy band" tunes. Apparently, there is nothing better to do on a Saturday night in this rural community. But I digress...

The maze was completely dark with only the almost full moon to light your way. A sign that it was a good fright was that although I am a good sport about things like this and was aware that hired hands would be jumping out to scare me, the three of us often formed a human chain holding on to each other's jackets and slowing down at what we perceived were ambush points. Ah, the fun and sometimes unexpected screams that came out of our throats.

What I thought was a little freaky and more scarey that the initial frights, were the masked savages that followed us. One of these I didn't realize was there until he stepped on the back of my shoe and then saw through my peripheral vision his head over my shoulder almost resting on it. Then just when we thought we had gotten to the end of the maze all too soon, we walked through a pitch black tunnel with only my cell phone to light the way and my karate kicks to clear our path, to find ourselves in the cemetary. By the end, my head hurt from all the screaming and laughing we did.

The band that greeted us at the entrance to the barn. I love me some animatronics.

Someone needs to lay off the moonshine.

The foggy enterance to the grave yard.

Dental Issues

I haven't been to the dentist in a couple of years, but the shooting pain in my teeth to the point that I can't even catch my breath told me it was time. So I dragged my butt out of bed for an 8am appointment on my day off. Take the opportunity to sleep in, nah. Not I. I live to torture myself.

My new dentist I picked from the listing of American Dental Association members in my area, and she graduated from dental school in 2002. I figure she's young and must be up on all the new things. So what does she tell me?

Apparently the stress of the past almost 13 months has caused me to grind my teeth in my sleep. I wore down my teeth so much that the Sensodine and ProEnamel Sensodine are no longer doing the trick and even one of my fillings now has to be replaced. Not just that, but now I need a Night Guard for my mouth.

She asked me if I had noticed the grinding. Considering I now sleep alone, and it's not like the animals can wake me up at night to say "Hey, shut up the noise. We're trying to sleep;" I hadn't really noticed.

I have to give her credit though, she really sold me on it by telling me I could get it in almost any color I want. I'm considering glow-in-the dark so the cats have something to play with when they wonder what the heck's on mommy's face.