I was standing in front of a classroom when I realized the first item was gone. I pushed my left hand from my right wrist up my arm and panicked when it dawned on me that it was gone. I immediately felt naked without it, as I have worn it almost every day since Jake gave it to me. It was the bracelet that he gave me as a wedding present.
I tore my house and my parent's houses apart looking for it. I got on my knees and checked all the crevaces in the car to see if it dropped there. I knew that if I lost it on the street, I might never see it again. For the past two weeks, along with the bracelet, I have been lost. When I almost lost all hope, my mom called me this weekend to tell me that my dad had found it. I felt like myself again.
The second thing was lost this weekend. My beloved, crazy 15 year old puppy has lost his youth. This became blatant this weekend when the milky film started forming over his eyes. I thought he might be sick and started cleaning out his eye. I did this several times a day. When I bought him over to my folks with me for the Superbowl, they echo my fears that it appeared to be the beginning of cataracts.
Usually when you hurt him he shows his mean face and may even attempt to bite you. This time, he just whimpered and turned his head. He was uncomfortable and would try to paw at his eye, to no avale.
I knew this was going to happen. Lately I watch him as he sleeps so I can see if he's still breathing. But he's always had a youthful attitude and spunk about him. With the eye problems came sluggishness. Knowing this was bound to happen and it actually happening bring out two separate sets of emotions.
This morning, another sign that he is no longer my little puppy. In his sleep, he urinated on himself.
Some might think it ridiculous to get upset over a dog. However, Arlo has always been more than a dog. He was Jake's best friend ever since he was rescued from the shelter. At first, the two of us didn't get along so well - the dog kicked me out of my own bed. But our relationship has flourished, especially since Jake passed away. I can lean over and ask for "kissy" and no matter what mood he's in, he'll put a smile on his face and lick. I know - gross, a dog licking you. Oh, get over it!
So in two weeks time I lost two things I love. I got one back. Now I need to deal with the loss of the other. I don't know which one is worse - losing something given as a testament to forever, or losing the youthfulness of a friend and having to cope with the old age and eventual death of him.
Baby Arlo with Daddy.
Posts
